Terbo Ted Comments on Prominent Americans
George W. Bush, President
Journalist Helen Thomas, who's been working in the White House Press Corps since before I was born, calls him the worst president in U.S. History. She's more qualified than I to make the statement. The fact that he hasn't been impeached for his constant doubleplusuntruthful statements shows the utter failure of our 'checks and balances' system. If it was up to me, I'd turn him and his entire cabinet over to international authorities for war crimes trials. If they were proven innocent, my bad; but I'm willing to take that risk in the name of justice. The most hated man on earth.
John Kerry, Plutocrat
He's a fascist oligarch and has the very real potential to be even more dangerous than Bush. He fronts for many of the same elitist shadow government groups as Bush, including the Skull and Bones Society and The Carlyle Group. I do not like him, will not vote for him or endorse him; he's definitely evil enough in appearance to qualify as a 'lesser of two evils.' He does not speak for me. Read more of my thoughts about our next pre-selected President.
Ralph Nader, Presidential Candidate
There's a lot of people noticing his oligarch and CIA connections; appears that lots of his longtime friends are not on the side of the common people. I won't vote for him.
Condoleeza Rice, Terrorist
I was calling for her resignation as National Security Advisor immediately after the 9/11 tragedy. I find her tenacious cling to power wildly offensive, along with her spin and disdain for honesty or openness. I'd turn her over to international authorities.
John Ashcroft, Scowling Henchman
I've yet to hear a real life Republican who actually likes this guy. C'mon, no one likes him. He's an embarrassment to us all. Shame on all Republicans for not getting this guy out of the picture. I was hoping his health problems would stop him from making any new speeches, pronouncements or legislation.
Dick Cheney, Vice President
I didn't think he'd live this long into the administration. Amazing. You'd think some hacker phreakz would have remotely attacked his pacemaker by now. I'm opposed to the death penalty, but would make an exception in his case after I sent him off to war crimes trials with the rest of the Bush cabinet.
Donald Rumsfeld, Terrorist
This man has done more than enough to earn being put to sleep, he deserves the death penalty for war crimes. He's done more to create terror than most humans can even imagine. A proven liar and enemy of all common people.
Paul Bremer, Iraq Coalition Provisional Authority
He runs the illegal U.S. occupation of Iraq. At least he looks upset, scared, terrified, burnt and fried when he appears before the cameras; he's earned it. War criminal. If he was assassinated in Iraq I would not be surprised one bit, his common sense and karma is that bad. It's maddening to hear him speak on behalf of democracy when he's a dictatorial, authoritarian warlord censoring dissent and ordering attacks in civilian areas.
Mays Family, Clear Channel, Texas
For their efforts to remove democracy from the airwaves in favor of one party propaganda, I'd revoke their corporate charter and force them from business. Revoking corporate charters used to be common practice in the U.S.; American corporations are the most highly regulated in the world, I don't understand how it's called a FREE market. They won't even SELL airtime to views they dislike.
Howard Stern, Shock Jock
I always hated his schtick and avoided his shows. Watching him turn from pro-Iraq war to McCarthyesqe victim and anti-censorship critic was chilling. I like him now, I want to hear more from him. And he's off the air, whoops. Blame Michael Powell and the FCC.
Ted Rall, Journalist
He's one of my favorite political commentators; he's willing to criticize both major political parties at a mainstream level, which is rare and increasingly necessary in a rabid partisan duopoly political environment.
Ann Coulter, Journalist
I doubt this thin, blonde and attractive white woman would be able to make the same kneejerk rightwing attack dog arguments if she was born with genetically darker skin.
Jim Hightower, Commentator
This Texan's warm, illuminated populist insights are an inspiration, he's a modern Will Rogers. He explains the American political spectrum as not being left to right but top to bottom.
Hugo Chavez, President, Venezuela
The wildly popular democratically elected leader has already survived one botched CIA coup attempt under Dubya. His country's massive oil reserves are a curse upon him and his people, endangering their well being. I fear that after the 2005 inauguration, either Bush or Kerry will attempt a violent 'regime change' there, which could lead to all out war with Latin America, from Mexico to Argentina. I do not like this prospect at all; what do you do when you know a disaster is coming down- no matter what- and you don't feel like you have the power to stop it?
Arnold Scwarzenegger, Governor, California
The odds of us being overrun by aliens or robot monsters only increases as he gets more power.
Diane Feinstien, California Senator
She's a big money conservative, not on my side. It turns my stomach when people call her a bleeding heart liberal; she's clearly a ruling-class fascist.
Barbara Lee, Alameda, House of Representatives
She's the only one in that entire house that is on my side. I'll forgive her Democrat affiliation. I'm proud to live in her district, which is clearly pork-barrel free and poverty stricken.
Matt Gonzalez, San Francisco Board of Supervisors
Matt, get the Green Party nomination and run for president. Sure, you'll lose. But if you could get on even one debate with Bush- or at least get on the national news once in awhile- it would be worth it. If all the 18-35 year old registered U.S. voters voted for him, he'd be the next president.